So they say things happen in 3’s. Seriously, think about it… Life is full of 3’s. For those that like everything even (you know who you are), this is quite an unfortunate but undeniable fact. For example…
- Red, Yellow, Green – 3 lights make up a stop light.
- Good, Better, Best – 3 choices when making a decision.
- Yes, No, Maybe – 3 answers to a question.
- Positive, Neutral, Negative – 3 statuses of testing.
- Chocolate, Vanilla, Strawberry – 3 Flavors in Neopolitan ice cream or the flavors in a traditional banana split ;) .
I’m sure you can add things to this list, but you get my point. And think about when things happen to you… do they happen in 3’s? If not, you’re a lucky one. For me, they do. And the latest series of events is NO exception. I recently – ok maybe not so recently – OMG! its 3 months (no kidding 3 months to the day!) since the 1-2-3 punch sequence that sent me to the mat. And BTW, this happened over the course of 3 weeks!
I am not making this up. What is that saying…
Life is always going to be stranger than fiction, because fiction has to be convincing and life doesn’t. ~Neil Gaiman
I couldn’t make this up. This sequence of events just couldn’t happen like this in fiction without someone saying “Really? All these things happened to the same person in this amount of time? No way!” You, as the reader, just wouldn’t allow yourself to believe it. Well, I assure you it happened.
Punch #1: Dumped (Timing: Last week of April)
So since the last posting, lonely had left (at least for a while). I, ironically, was doing the dating thing. And yes, 3 potential suiters at random intervals kept popping ‘into the ring’. Now dating, true dating, the kind where you are not committd to any one person and you simply go out for dinner and chat to get to know one another with different people in the same timeframe, is not something I do well. But in my new found self, I was changing things up, stepping out of my monogamous dating safety zone and exploring my options. Getting to know each one individually and being cautious. All 3 very nice guys, very different from one another. Needless to say, over the course of time, one seems to rise to the top be it due to distance, attraction, conversations, what have you…and a choice is made.
End of April after 3+ months of dating, dumped. Probably the nicest one I’ve ever been through. He is a great guy with kids. Time together was an issue due to schedules and in hindsight, well… Hindsight is 20/20. I guess there were some signs but I won’t dwell. I will say this… he made me believe in myself again. That someone saw the good (enough to introduce me to his kids and hang out with them) was big. The not so good… being dumped makes me question my judgement and myself. I thought I made the right choice. Thought I was worthy of a relationship. The conversations we had made me believe that he believed in the same things and he was someone willing to take a chance with and on me. Flawed judgement – we’ll just leave it that… Things happen 4 a reason, I gotta believe.
Punch #2: Ditched (May 10, 2010)
Two weeks later. It was a Monday. I was supposed to be getting my performance review. 11:00AM I’m in the President’s office. 11:06am I’m out of a job. Ditched. Effective immediately. No discussion about my work ethic or accomplishments, simply that my position was being outsourced. No concern for the projects I was working on. Just done. Can’t argue. Why would I? Decision made. Was it a surprise? HELL YEAH! Blindsided.
What do you say? What can you do?
Me? I call them to the carpet and hold them accountable! Not sure how they (I say they because it was not just the President in the office) were originally going to tell my marketing colleagues, so I force their hand. I made them call a meeting a few hours later where they were forced to sit before the team and explain what happened. My request caught them off guard (good!) which worked to my advantage for expediting my request. And YES, I WAS THERE.
It was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do professionally, but it was the right thing. After all, I didn’t have anything to lose and the team deserved to hear it as a team. They deserved that respect for all we had come through as a department. And quite frankly, I also wanted to hear what He would say. Curious? Still no mention of my work. It was a business decision as matter of fact.
Not sure if it was anger, strength or sheer determination to make them accountable that made me do it. Did I hold myself together well? Not so sure. But I feel good about my decision. Regardless, I like to believe I went out with dignity. The outpouring of notes and texts, flowers and phone calls from various colleagues from volunteers to Board Members was touching. And still is. My goal was to make a difference at The Place. While it may not have been seen at a higher level, I feel good that those that matter valued and respected my work and my work ethic. Can I explain it? Nope. Won’t try. Too exhausting. We’ll just leave it that… Things happen 4 a reason, I gotta believe.
So Punch 1 – the left hook to the chin. Punch 2 – the gut punch to the stomach… losing air. And then…
Punch #3: Death (May 14, 2010)
… the upper cut that sent me to the mat.
It was Friday of that same week. Yes Punch #3 in 3 weeks time. The only man in my life for the past 12 years who cared that I was around. Who was proud of me no matter what. Who smiled when I entered the room and was sad to see me go. Who listened when I spoke and who wanted me on his side for the “revolution”. (I’ll explain later.) Who loved me for me.
On May 14th, 2010, my grandfather passed away. Peacefully, with his family by his side, window open and blue sky. Just as he wanted. It was not a surprise, it was time. It was his time. His choice. His last words to me amongst other things “Everything will be ok.”
That about sums it up (for now). Knocked Out! To the Mat! A Hellish 3 weeks and not sure I’m getting up from this. At least not quickly. Questioning everything, but holding on to one thing I know is true…
Things happen 4 a reason, I GOTTA BELIEVE!
Oh by the way… No one told Grampa that I lost my job. His last words…Uncanny? 6th sense? I don’t know. I just hope he’s right.